Man was not made to consume this much cheese in this little time.
More Lactose Please
Written by Christopher Null on January 17th, 2011Young Lust
Written by Christopher Null on January 5th, 2011Scene: Virgin America flight from SFO to Las Vegas. I’m on the aisle.
Young Fight Attendent (to lady in window seat): What would you like to drink?
Lady in Window Seat: Water.
YFA (to wannabe hipster in middle seat): Something to drink?
Wannabe Hipster in Middle Seat (lecherous look): What’s up?
YFA: Excuse me?
WHIMS: What’s up?
YFA: I’m sorry?
WHIMS: Whassuuuuuuuuuuuupppppppppppp?
YFA: Would you like something to drink, sir?
WHIMS (utterly defeated that his come-on failed): Water.
Aaaaaand… Scene.
Top 10 Movies of 2010
Written by Christopher Null on December 21st, 20101. Toy Story 3
2. True Grit
3. Inception
4. The Social Network
5. 127 Hours
6. The American
7. The Square
8. The Kids Are All Right
9. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
10. Black Swan
Revised and updated!
I’m an Honorary Citizen
Written by Christopher Null on December 9th, 2010The circumcision ceremony sounds particularly appealing!
The Republic of Null Island is one of the smallest and least-visited nations on Earth. Situated where the Prime Meridian crosses the Equator, Null Island sits 1600 kilometres off the western coast of Africa.
O Captain, My Captain!
Written by Christopher Null on December 8th, 2010There’s just something about homeless guy in a “Carpe Diem” sweatshirt.
I’m Talking Mangos
Written by Christopher Null on December 1st, 2010Can someone explain to me where the produce that those guys sell on the side of the road actually comes from? And how come there seems to be so much of it?
Where Does He Get Those Wonderful Toys?
Written by Christopher Null on November 21st, 2010Started Christmas shopping for my kids today. Is it just me or are the toys now infinitely cooler than the stuff in the old Sears catalog? Fortunately I get to play with them all again now. Win!
Sometimes It Sucks to Be Tall
Written by Christopher Null on November 9th, 2010From the Ottawa Sun…
A seven-year-old giraffe featured on a British television drama was struck and killed by lightning in South Africa Monday.
…
Hamley is not the first giraffe to be struck by lightning.
In 1996, lightning reportedly struck and killed a 5.5-metre tall giraffe that was standing on a hill in the Rhino and Lion Reserve in northeastern South Africa. A year later, its mate was struck and killed by lightning.
This Is Why You’re Lazy
Written by Christopher Null on October 28th, 2010Getting things done is hard. It requires serious, daily effort. This article finally puts that struggle into words and explains why procrastination is such a damning problem for so many people — all by using people’s Netflix queues as scientific data. It’d be easy to make an “I’ll read it later” joke, but I’d never take the easy out. Besides, Jersey Shore is on.
In a nutshell:
The Misconception: You procrastinate because you are lazy and can’t manage your time well.
The Truth: Procrastination is fueled by weakness in the face of impulse and a failure to think about thinking.
What IS Eating Gilbert Grape?
Written by Christopher Null on October 21st, 2010Last night I dreamed I encountered Johnny Depp, and he was doing the Hollywood thing, not giving anyone the time of day. Instead he was reading Norma Khouri’s “Forbidden Love” — in Arabic.
So I said: “You’re reading that, TOO?”
He didn’t even look up.
Tomorrow Is Another Day
Written by Christopher Null on October 5th, 2010Pet peeve.
Let’s say you’ve spent some time with someone — perhaps you’ve gone to dinner with another couple, or you’ve had a couple of drinks with them and chatted the evening away.
My beef: When you are parting ways at the end of the evening, you get the usual, “When are we going to get together again?” speech. You haven’t even finished that evening’s festivities, and they’re already pining for the next event? I know my company is invariably scintillating, but I need a little downtime before I start making more plans.
Am I crazy? Don’t answer that.
Are We Not Entertained?
Written by Christopher Null on September 12th, 2010If this holds up, I’m gonna be owed bank.
A Chinese woman is suing a cinema and a film’s distributors for wasting her time by showing 20 minutes of adverts before it started, according to state media.
Chen Xiaomei claims the Polybona International Cinema in the northern city of Xian and film distributors Huayi Brothers Media Corporation should have told her how long the advertisements for the film Aftershock lasted, Xinhua news agency said.
Ms Chen, who is a lawyer, has accused Polybona and Huayi Brothers of wasting her time and violating her freedom of choice.
They Say It’s Your Birthday
Written by Christopher Null on September 7th, 2010For some reason I feel especially young this year…
The Bird is the Word
Written by Christopher Null on August 26th, 2010Spotted in Glen Park right outside my window… can anyone ID what kind of bird this is? A hawk of some kind from the looks of it.
Finger Jerky, Perhaps?
Written by Christopher Null on August 23rd, 2010You know after you remove a Band-Aid that’s gotten soaking wet: That white, wrinkly, squishy look that your skin gets where it’s been covered up? They need a really good name for that.
Wash Your Hands
Written by Christopher Null on August 12th, 2010It’s gonna get dirty out there.
We have a bleak window of maybe 10 years, where we are going to have to use the antibiotics we have very wisely, but also grapple with the reality that we have nothing to treat these infections with.
Best Laid Plans…
Written by Christopher Null on August 10th, 2010Thought I’d spend a few minutes adding a plug-in to Drinkhacker.
2 1/2 hours later, it’s added… and the whole site is redesigned. Jesus!
About That Clerk Position…
Written by Christopher Null on July 12th, 2010I have a soft spot for this spam/virus I just received. In fact, I love it.
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Ill
Written by Christopher Null on July 9th, 2010Taking my first sick day in months… can’t remember the last time, actually. It’s amazing how being ill can totally derail all your plans, make everything suddenly take a back seat to your recovery, and delay everything you have going on. And at the same it can be liberating: No one expects you to get anything done when you can barely get out of bed.
Like John Waters’ Moustache
Written by Christopher Null on June 18th, 2010Can someone explain to me why some otherwise attractive women pluck their eyebrows down to pencil-thin lines? It is the scariest thing on earth.
