How not to get a job (full text of an email I received today):

Subject: HR Dept

Gentlemen,

You are being contactedtoday proactively to announce my immediate availability. Generally seeking employment full time or contractual in management or sales management. Travel not a problem. Fluent in German.

Your consideration most appreciated.

Regards

van Eton

London, W14 0HD – United Kingdom

0044 207 603 5340

Certainly this is an issue that affects very few of you, but what happened to French cut green beans? And California Pizza’s frozen potato and rosemary chicken (was it chicken? I can no longer remember…) pies? I really hate it when items are discontinued and I never hear about it. I just stare into the freezer case week after week, wondering if they’re gone forever of it they’re just out of stock.