Paranoia. Hypochondria. Delusions of Grandeur.
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| chrisnull.com Paranoia. Hypochondria. Delusions of Grandeur. |
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10.31.2002 Last night I dreamed I had a meeting in the Playboy Mansion. There were like six of us, meeting with a pajama-clad Hugh Hefner in a traditional boardroom on the property. Toward the end of the meeting, Hef pulled out a giant bottle of Cristal and passed it around for us to drink from. Then he climbed up on the table like a monkey and scampered about, insisting that we all smell him. He wouldn't stop until we told him he smelled very good. posted by Christopher Null | 9:30 AM 10.30.2002 Half Mast is now on sale for $12.99! Get 'em while they last! posted by Christopher Null | 8:44 AM 10.29.2002 What I really, really, really want is a really, really, really loud horn for my car. posted by Christopher Null | 9:46 AM 10.28.2002 I love Amazon's "Recommend an Item" links. Not only can I pepper the site with links to my book, enterprising lads have made classic connections like this one. (You'll have to click the movie title and scroll down to see it on the next page... I can't get the direct-product link to stick) posted by Christopher Null | 8:30 PM When you refill your old water bottle from the company water cooler, don't put the nasty, slimy lip of the thing right up against the spout where the water comes out. That's disgusting. posted by Christopher Null | 9:49 AM 10.27.2002 Yes, standard time! Helpful hint of the day: If you get a pop-up ad that says Messenger somewhere on the top bar, it's an aggressive new ad using the Windows Messenger service. Just turn off Messenger (which you probably don't need running anyway) by going to Start / Control Panel / Administrative Tools / Services -- turn Messenger to Disabled and push Stop. posted by Christopher Null | 8:44 AM 10.25.2002 Not only did that VCR arrive broken, but: - The ticket I protested 4 months ago came back guilty - Blogger got hacked - Car seems to be dying - Refrigerator began to freak out, making bizarre squealing noise - Dishwasher mounting screws snapped, sending dishwasher jumping out into center of kitchen - Strange Jamba Juice dream left me really screwed in the head posted by Christopher Null | 1:49 PM 10.24.2002 I hate hate hate hate hate it when I order a new electronic gizmo and it turns out to be crap on arrival. Absolutely appalling. Today I received a new JVC VCR, not a top of the line model, but a presumably workable S-VHS unit. It was obviously crap the second I opened the shipping box -- the thing is about half as deep as regular stereo components! It looks like a child's toy. Plugged it in and sure enough, it didn't work. The audio was totally screwed up and recording didn't work at all. Now I face the hassle of exchanging it, always a pain when you mail order something. I just remembered: This is why I stopped buying bigger-ticket items online. Groan. [Here's my fullish review at Epinions.] posted by Christopher Null | 10:20 PM Add to nuisance file: Talking on one of those short-wave radio cell phones in the supermarket. For the guy trying to plan a party and talk to his girlfriend over a very loud, beeping radio in the snack aisle: It does not matter what kind of chips you get, nor is it worth spending 15 minutes debating it. posted by Christopher Null | 3:07 PM 10.23.2002 Maggie and I share our love of GRAMPY. She's got the whole story, though I think she assumes too much. Grampy is not neccessarily a relative of our pal. For all I know, he's talking to his girlfriend. posted by Christopher Null | 9:33 PM Things I found under my desk this morning: - a pen - a penny - a Milk Dud posted by Christopher Null | 10:58 AM 10.22.2002 Spoof idea: Where's Abe? (Tracking pennies based on the year of issuance -- then everyone has tons of hits! Har har.) Ironically, wheresabe.com redirects to wheresgeorge.com. posted by Christopher Null | 8:09 PM 10.21.2002 The secret lives of dollar bills revealed at Where's George? Here's my profile. posted by Christopher Null | 11:38 AM 10.20.2002 Here's what she did when everyone jumped out and screamed at her:  And here's a little video of the event (courtesy Chris Pirillo). Thanks, Chris! posted by Christopher Null | 6:13 PM Headline least likely to make an overweight woman buy a magazine: "Lose 25 Pounds By Thanksgiving: Our Scientifically Proven Plan Will Kick-Start Your Sluggish Gland!" From First for Women. posted by Christopher Null | 5:23 PM 10.18.2002 There's a woman at my office his a always smiling. Always. It's not some phony smile. It's a genuine, warm smile. It sounds cheesy but she always brightens my day, while at the same time I wonder if she is really, truly happy. posted by Christopher Null | 9:26 PM 10.17.2002 Oh Jesus they filed down my teeth. They drilled my teeth down into... into... into smaller teeth! This is truly creepy and it's starting to hurt, though that might be the deep cleaning around #23 and #22 I also requested. Now my teeth don't touch, which might make my mouth stop hurting. Might. posted by Christopher Null | 2:34 PM Dude, you're gettin' a severance. Fun fact: I have never seen any of the TV commercials with the Dell dude. And I watch plenty of TV. Link courtesy Jim Dedman. posted by Christopher Null | 9:57 AM 10.16.2002 From Video Store magazine. Official sales slogan for VHS and DVD copies of Margaret Cho's Notorious C.H.O. movie (designed to sell copies to video stores, not consumers): CHO ME THE MONEY! posted by Christopher Null | 11:09 AM 10.15.2002 Today I spent one full hour in line at the post office watching five utterly baffled postal workers attempt to get one of the computers working again. This is the sole utterance that I could make out from among the muttering during that time: "Mouse port?" posted by Christopher Null | 12:08 PM 10.14.2002 Wow, a terrible, terrible local tragedy. Inexplicable. An outrage. How could this possibly have happened? What are we supposed to do now? Life will never be the same again. posted by Christopher Null | 10:26 AM 10.13.2002 Incubus is a pretty crappy movie, but Esperanto is actually pretty interesting. Mi amas vin. posted by Christopher Null | 12:55 PM 10.12.2002 Overheard at the SFMOMA, at the new (and impressive) Gerhard Richter exhibit (the specific painting in question is one of his blurred-motion pieces of people riding in a speedboat): "That's just like Ya-Ya." Overheard at the same exhibit by my wife: "I don't know what the big deal is. He's just copying photographs." You give it a shot, lady. posted by Christopher Null | 9:31 PM 10.11.2002 How far has CGI come? Take this quiz (actually a vendor promo site) and see if you can pick the CG pics from the real photos. I actually got all 10 right on the first try, but then again, I tend to do pretty well on those "real or fake" quizzes... You know the ones I'm talking about. posted by Christopher Null | 10:50 AM 10.10.2002 The Bachelor and his bimbettes are total tools. I love how this guy is supposed to be so sophisticated, but when he and his bimbette-of-the-moment are taken behind the scenes at a Napa Valley winery and allowed to partake of barrel samples, you don't drink directly out of the "wine thief" (a glass siphon) like it's a beer bong! You pour it into a glass and then drink it, you idiots. Disgusting. And now they are going to sell that wine that you slobbered all over. They never showed the labels or name of the winery, but I'm pretty sure that was Clos Pegase -- having toured those caves myself. I will never buy your wine again -- who knows what those nasty nasty people are getting in the juice! posted by Christopher Null | 9:06 AM 10.09.2002 I got an enormous laugh out of this would-be art critic's evaluation of the K-8 set and couldn't resist posting it. Link courtesy Neil McAllister. posted by Christopher Null | 1:44 PM There was a nasty wreck along my route to work today, at a poorly-designed intersection which I sit through almost every day. Ambulances, cop cars, traffic being directed... when they cart someone off under a yellow plastic tarp, that's not good, is it? If only I'd left 15 minutes earlier that could've been me... This seems to happen all the time, at least twice since I started this blog. Maybe I'm far more fortunate than I think and I should stop cursing the constant pain in my jaw. posted by Christopher Null | 10:04 AM 10.07.2002 This amuses me greatly. Somehow my novel is "closely related" to The Lord of the Rings on DVD! I hope this link works. posted by Christopher Null | 1:38 PM 10.05.2002 If you liked the TV stand, you'll love the in-dash CD changer! posted by Christopher Null | 6:14 PM 10.04.2002 I was going to write about how annoying a whole bunch of Sunday drivers were (and this being Friday, they have no reason to be on the street), but I got an email which really got me going. To wit: Subject: IMPORTANT CHANGES AT ZAGAT.COM As a registered user of our site, you are invited to become a Charter Member of zagat.com, which became an online subscription service today. What does this change mean to you? You will still be able to visit zagat.com to locate a restaurant or to vote, but from now on only members will have access to our site's other features, including: [deletia] Given all these benefits, we believe that your zagat.com membership is sure to pay for itself many times over -- each time you have a good meal or avoid a bad one. Join now for a 14-day trial and enter promotional code CHARTER when you subscribe. If you like what you see, you can join for just $9.95 (that's 33% off the regular price of $14.95). This offer ends on October 18th. Please join us. Tim and Nina P.S. - To learn more, visit: http://zagatnews.zagat.com/cgi-bin4/flo?y=eI8I0EaOEz0DAn0BjJ30A4 If Zagat's content was better -- and if it wasn't generated by people like me -- I might be more inclined to subscribe. But as it stands, Zagat is just not interesting enough to merit a subscription. So long, Tim and Nina. Incidentally, I interviewed Nina Zagat last year and she didn't mention anything about going subscription. I'd link to that interview, but Ziff-Davis -- being the ridiculous company that it is -- has deleted all the archives for Smart Business. Oh what a beautiful morning! posted by Christopher Null | 10:23 AM 10.03.2002 I have the urge to update this site daily but in the absence of any amusing anecdotes to tell or links to share, I fear that simply typing something for the sake of typing something would be conceited and boring. Yet oblivious people do this all the time. So I'm coining a term to describe this behavior: blablogging. posted by Christopher Null | 2:21 PM 10.02.2002 I interviewed Kevin Mitnick a few months ago -- he didn't mention he was going to sell off his equipment on Ebay! Great idea, I gotta say, though I'm dying to find out what the reserve is. Link courtesy CNet. posted by Christopher Null | 2:43 PM I had the good fortune to see two recommendable movies over the last few days. Check out reviews of Red Dragon and Far From Heaven here! posted by Christopher Null | 9:46 AM 10.01.2002 Some nitwit crashed on the Bay Bridge, taking out four of the five lanes and causing havoc with Bay Area traffic. Cars were gridlocked deep into San Francisco. I realized I have completely lost my patience for road traffic today when I could actually see my office building only three blocks away but knew it would be another 15 minutes before I got there. I started sweating I was so upset. I don't need this kind of aggravation, I'm tellin' ya. posted by Christopher Null | 10:10 AM |
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